July 18, 2007

The Official Countdown...

I am now less than one month from my last day of work here in Southern California. Which means that I am now one month from moving day. Oh man. I am not ready emotionally or physically for that day to come. Who knew that six years ago as I was preparing to make the drive from San Antonio to "liberal" California that I would be beginning, up to this point, the best six years of my life. I have met and encountered truly amazing individuals. We have worked hard, studied hard, played hard...truly lived. These people fight daily against the overwhelming push of our generation to be care free, unattached, and individualistic. They feel that instead, the life of a Christian should encompass many things worthy of care and attention, a life lived in community, where the body helps the weaker members along. Many times, my husband and I have felt that we are the weaker members that I Corinthians talks about. I look at my friends and family and feel that they are so talented and gifted and strong. I know that I have lived in a blessing to be able to live even 6 years with them. My heart breaks to think about leaving, and I'm not sure what our life will even look like without having exercise partners, discussion partners, girls group, late night smokes, great wine and cheap wine, camping trips...I guess as I'm listing it out, I realize that a lot of people have these elements in their lives. I'm not too surprised that I'm having a hard time figuring out what makes my situation unique. We've tried for years to figure out what makes the Torrey Honors Institute so different than any other great books program and we never did get a satisfactory answer. That program brought us together and taught us about life in a community, so if we can't find an answer about it, I guess we're not really able to find an answer about us.

I'm not trying to say that our friendship is so unique and so unknowable that no one could really understand our situation or experience. That's what songs like "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield like to tell you. That poison is a bunch of rubbish. Of course you're understandable! Of course people have experienced the exact same thing you're going through! People have been 25 years old moving away from close family and friends for centuries. I don't think it was ever easy. I'm just saying that we have something very special and very different than any of us have experienced thus far in our lives...and I think we're all afraid that life will take us in different directions to the point that we'll lose what we have here. And when people say "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "some separation is good to strengthen the relationship" that's when I feel like they don't understand the place that our friends have held in our lives, in our maturity towards Christ and a love towards each other, and in our growth as academics. There is a real and definite danger in leaving this place. We may never find it again...and I know that God may have wonderful places for all of us, but that doesn't negate the tragedy of losing what we have all had.

These next few weeks will be flooded with visits to Chicago, camping trips, work events, packing, planning, hiding our heads in the sand that we're leaving...the busier I get the less I have to realize that in 30 days we'll be driving away from our home.

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