For 24 Hours...

This is me not talking about the fact that we will be deciding our future tomorrow. See, if I were talking about it, my husband would need another 24 hours to have some space that wasn't filled with graduate school discussions. But seeing as how I'm not talking about it, I guess we'll have to (get to?) sit down tomorrow and decide our future. Question: How does one go about deciding their future? This kind of reminds me of planning a wedding, because everyone we talk to knows exactly what we should do but won't give us the money to do it. :-)

I just don't feel old enough to have the kind of wisdom to know what's best for us...what's best for him. I wish it were an easy decision, but it's not. It's difficult for me to go against what everyone is telling me to do, and it's not even my freakin' program! I can't imagine what he's feeling.

I sure am glad I'm not talking about it and am giving him the space he needs.

O Lord, You who steadied the hand of Peter as he began to

sink on the stormy sea, if you are with us, no one is against us.

Grant to us the shield of faith and the mighty armor of the Holy Spirit

to protect us and guide us to do Your will. The future I put into Your hands,

O Lord, and we follow You to a life in Christ. Amen

Because Not Enough Has Been Said About It...

On Wednesday, April 18th, the Supreme Court reversed the decision of 3 lower courts that the Partial Birth Abortion ban signed by President Bush was unconstitutional. This means that a decision that was made years ago will finally be put into affect. Praise be to God!

Although if you were to ask the opponents to the reversal, they would say that our country has just denied 30 years of progress and that those of us who are against partially delivering a baby for the purpose of killing it, are against the mother's health. What I found very interesting is that the PBA ban does have a clause stating that if the mother's life is in danger, they can still perform the abortion. What the opponents don't like is that it's not general enough. They want the ban to state that abortions can be done if the mother's health is at risk. They would prefer it to be open so that they could define health a lot of ways...emotional, physical, mental. However, with this ban, they don't have that freedom. It's only allowed to save the mother's life.

I know I wish that they would just ban all abortions, but I feel like this is a great day in the history of America. I'm sure it won't be enforced easily or for too long before being sent back to into the court system for another 2 years, but if we can save the life of a few babies (and save the life of their mothers...why would we want to put that guilt upon their heads?) than the work of so many fighters for justice will have been worth it.

Lord have mercy...on America and her children of all ages.

(Also, if you know of anyone in the Southern California area facing a crisis pregnancy, here's a wonderful place for them to visit:
Whittier Pregnancy Care Clinic
www.pregnancycareclinic.net)

Some scattered thoughts on the season of lent...

I've never felt more aware of Christ's passion than this week, completing my first true lent in the Orthodox church. (I've celebrated lent before, but not with the history and tradition and community along with it). Last Sunday I realized that I am really tired. Besides having to eat foods that I don't like very much, the spiritual warfare has been intense, and I'm just so very tired. Last week I felt like I was walking through mud. I realized that if I was this tired after fasting from 40 days and experiencing spiritual attacks because of my decisions, I can't imagine how tired our Lord must have been after 33 years of feeling and experiencing much worse. And to know that nothing He experienced thus far would match what Holy Week would be for Him. That's why I feel like I'm so much more aware of Christ's passion. I'm tired and beaten...He most definitely was (and much worse than I am). And He continued to fight His battle, no matter how tough it became...even to the point of death.

The interesting thing I realized was that even though this is a tough week and we're still fasting, part of me has already finished. I feel like we're in the home stretch, because I'm baking the foods that we'll be eating at our Pascha feast and I'm planning what will be in our Pashca basket. I don't have to die at the end of this week...I get to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. So in many ways, I'm aware of Christ's passion, but in so many ways in my very typical human way, I have to keep reminding myself that though Lent is technically over, we've been preparing ourselves for this week and the party is not here yet. I guess that reveals how I would love to live my life. In Eternity without having to go through the really hard stuff. (Oh how weak and lazy I am). But I need the reminder that we are not in Eternity yet, and we still have work and death to go through (if not a physical death, at least a daily dying to the wild passions in my life). I know this sounds so morbid, but seeing as how this is Holy Thursday, it seems appropriate that my thoughts would turn to death and completing the fight. I can't celebrate Easter without going through the Passion.


Lord Have Mercy.