Diagnosis: The PPS

I have it. The husband and I were discussing it last night. The first step towards healing is to admit you have a problem...so here I go. I have "The People Pleasing Sickness." I've known I've had it for a while, but I'm beginning to actually come to grips with this disease. I haven't realized how bad I'd let it get until today. Oh today. Today when the doctor's office actually had a cancellation and could fit me in (lucky me! I reconfirmed with the nice lady on the phone that "she didn't have something in 3 weeks?" They didn't. It was either March or today. Oh well. Today it is). So, I went to the doctor where she asked me if I had been tested for HPV and did I want the vaccine for it. Normally, my answer to shots is an immediate and hearty "NO THANKS!" But doctors know things, so I feel like I should listen to their advice and take it or I might regret it later(It's the PPS). After asking a couple of questions, I found out that HPV is an STD. I assured her that I wasn't in danger of getting an STD as I was in a faithful, monogamous relationship. Her brilliant answer? "Well, you can't trust men."

I didn't get the shot.

But on the way home, the PPS came back in rare form. I started feeling so naive and little and immature. What would that nice doctor and the friendly, chatty nurse think of me?! I'm one of THOSE girls...the one's who trust their husbands who might regret it later! They're probably smiling knowingly at each other right now!!! "Oh, she'll be back one day...wanting to know why we didn't make her get the shot. She'll regret it." I can't have them talking about me behind my back! Maybe if I go back right now they can fit me in to get the next shot!

Suddenly, I remember my loving and wonderful and supportive and FAITHFUL husband (mlawasaFh)...and I remember my PPS...and I keep driving back to work. I call up mlawasaFh and he reassures me that I don't need the shot, that I have the PPS, and that the cure is to slowly start making informed decisions on my own...without regards of what people may or may not be saying or thinking about me.

Whew! That was a close one. I'm glad that one went by fairly easily, because I REALLY HATE shots.